Assalamualaikum!
For watching me there, and keep me safe dari jauh, I appreciate all of that.
Baru-baru ni, I did go to some seniors, who have gone through what I had. It feels much more selesa nowadays when you know there are people, sama. It is not that I am happy seeing someone got depressed, it just a feeling: aku taklah pelik sorang2. (why bother to explain lol!) But you should try once!
What I did after finished my degree was: travel! Yeah, it takes cost (I spent almost 5K in a month!) but surely worth it bcuz I am moving to a better philosophy of life.
First, I went to Makassar. Kinda seminar present paper there for two days, while tiga hari lagi berjalan. It is not really sweet vacation, bcuz I have to decide what to do next. (sama ada admit myself to hospital, or get a career, or going Home).
And obviously I chose to go Home. It is where all of these started anyway. (actually I just did all three of them).
And after going Home, my daddy brought me to a place (after he finally knew I am having hard phase). And after that, my momma brought me too. Same place. Langkawi!
Whatever is happening, (termasuklah all the nightmares I had) is nothing. We always think we decided, so bear with the decision.
Apparently, it isnt.
It happened, because it happened. What is choice, when you are doing well in academic, good looking, loveable but you still got depressed. You chose to depressed? Or depression chose you?
It just happened.
Go back to where all the mess started.